Table of Contents:
1. Introduction to Falling in Love With Yourself
2. Self-Love myths- Two Big Ones
3. Why does Self-Love Matter? 13 Reasons why!
4. Seven Daily Habits to Practice Self-Love
5. Additional Strategic Self-Love Exercises
6. Final Thoughts
1. Introduction to Falling in Love With Yourself
What does self-love mean to you? When was the last time that you put yourself first? What does it mean to love yourself? What are some of the myths around self-love and how can you get past them to create daily habits that will allow you to build real self love? First, I have to confess that as a mother and wife, self-love has been a struggle. I always put the needs of others around me first, especially my children and that is not always a good thing. By the end of this post, you should be equipped with a set of habits that will allow you to create and maintain a healthier relationship that you have with yourself.
2. Self-Love myths
Myth # 1: Self love is about being selfish
This is probably the biggest myth about practicing self-love. To understand why this is a myth, let's define what the word selfish means. What is the definition of selfish? It is defined as lacking consideration for others or being concerned with your own pleasure or benefit.
Myth # 2: Self-Love is about vanity
Another myth about self-love is that you are a vain person. Again, let's define what it means to be vain. Vanity is an excessive admiration of your appearance or your personal achievements.
Now that we have the definition of selfishness and vanity established, I want you to pause for a moment and think about how they apply to you. If you are a mom like me, they don't really apply.
Lacking consideration for others- Heck no! You are most likely always thinking about your children and their needs. You serve them first and you give to them more than you have sometimes.
Excessive admiration of your appearance or achievement- again, doesn't apply to most people. Who has time to be obsessed with themselves. I know I don't- do you?
The other day, I actually bought myself a couple of new dresses for summer. At first, I felt guilty, like this money could have gone to the grocery bill or I could have bought the kids something. But then I had to stop myself and even my husband reminded me that I never buy anything for myself. It was far from selfish. Self Love when done correctly can be quite gratifying.
3. Why does Self-Love Matter?
Self-Love matters for a number of reasons. The most obvious is your mental health. How you view and treat yourself will either have a negative or a positive effect on your mental health. But beyond that here are some ways in which focusing on loving yourself will help you:
Resilience
Resilience is having the ability to overcome challenges and keep going. Self-love promotes Resilience because it allows you to see yourself as the strong person that you are.
Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a key component of practising self-love. I talk about how boundaries can upset your inner peace in my previous blog post Calming Your Mind: Simple Strategies on How to Find Inner Peace. You will have to set some healthy boundaries and limits when you start putting yourself first.
Stronger Relationships
Falling in love with yourself will create a ripple effect that everyone around you will notice and want to be a part of. There is a saying that before you can love someone else, you must first love yourself. The way you treat yourself will allow you to form stronger relationships with the people around you.
Gratitude
Gratitude goes way beyond just saying thank you. It is a major mindset shift. Read my previous blog post The Power of Gratitude: How to Transform Your Life With A Simple Shift. Gratitude can take you from negative self-talk into the positivity you see in yourself.
Recommended: Prayer and Gratitude Journal
Mindfulness
You will become more mindful of how you have been speaking to yourself. Become more present and aware of your negative self-talk. Learn more about Overcoming Limiting Beliefs.
Joy
Find your joy! Joy goes beyond happiness. There is a distinct difference between joy and happiness. Joy is not dependent on your situation. When you have joy, happiness is present no matter what season of life you are in.
Hope
Hope is having an expectation of something and believing that it will happen. Self-love gives you the hope of a brand new you. It allows you to see the future you that you desire.
Purpose
Gaining a new purpose means that you will connect with your values. Or even make new ones that are compatible with the newer version of yourself. Here are 5 Ways to know if your values are aligned with your goals.
Recommended: Personal Growth Bundle- Values + Beliefs + GROW
Patience
Focusing on self-love means that you will give yourself the time needed to grow. You will understand that growth takes time and you have to be patient.
Self-Care
Take the time you need to for activities that will nourish your soul and enhance the way you feel about yourself.
Strength
Build yourself up through finding your inner and outer strengths. What are you good at and what are the things you can strengthen?
Compassion
Giving yourself the grace you desire is truly a part of your self-love journey. Learn that treating yourself with love and kindness is just as important as treating others with love and kindness.
Forgiveness
Practising self-love means letting go of self-criticism and past mistakes. It means forgiving yourself and allowing yourself the freedom to take care of yourself.
4. Seven Daily Habits to Practice Self-Love
Now that you know that self-love matters and all the many ways that you will enrich your personal growth by practicising self-love. Use my digital Self-Love Planner to help you optimize these 7 daily habits.
Habit # 1: Start with positive self-talk
Look in the mirror each day and talk to yourself out loud. Tell yourself kind things. To help you come up with a list of kind words, use the Self-Esteem Journal and Self-Love List from my planner to help you build a list. It is really important that you start with this habit because it will set the tone for how you navigate through the other ones. Negative self-talk will only weigh you down even more.
A list of kind words that you can use each and everyday to build yourself up. Every self-love soldier needs the right ammunition to ward off negative self-talk.
Habit # 2: Set Boundaries
Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty about it. Prioritize yourself over saying "yes" to every request that you get. Saying "yes" too much will only lead to burnout. Use my Un-Do List from the Self-Love Journal to write down things that you would like to stop doing. I struggled before with setting this kind of boundary. I had trouble saying no until I realized how much it was impacting my overall health. It is exhausting to say yes to everything. You deserve better.
Habit # 3: Nourish Your Body
Nourishing your body means getting the proper amount of rest or sleep but also finding the right hydration or drinking enough water. Keep a Water Log and Sleep Tracker to help you keep track of how much water you are drinking and how much sleep you are getting. How you treat your body and what you decide to put into it is also important. Nourishing your body starts with proper nutrition. Furthermore, food has a strong correlation to your mood and how you see yourself. Certain foods can make you feel depressed all the time.
Habit # 4: Make time for Joy
A lot of times, people focus on happiness over joy. As I mentioned previously, joy goes beyond just being happy. To help you find your joy, commit to doing one small thing that is just for joy. This means you do it even if you think there might be failure. Just do it because you enjoy it and for no other reason. Finding your joy is really important because it will help you to manage your mood. It will also allow you to find your strength and know that you will not break when bad things happen.
Habit # 5: Celebrate your wins
Celebrate the wins each day even if they are small. You don't even have to celebrate them with anyone else, sometimes privately is okay. The point is to give yourself credit for things that you accomplish. Stack up every win and you will see them become bigger wins.
Habit # 6: Practice Gratitude
Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude! If you are used to celebrating others with words of gratitude. Make the shift to finding things about yourself that you are grateful for. While you write down the things that you are grateful for, don't forget to add yourself to that list. What about yourself makes you thankful? What do you appreciate the most about yourself? What about yourself makes you smile?
Habit # 7: Associate with the right people
Surround yourself with the right people. This means people who are positive and are generally loving in nature. This will allow you to feed off their positive energy and create a great space for you to love yourself. Your network matters! Iron Sharpens Iron! Create friendships and associations that are uplighting.
5. Additional Strategic Self-Love Exercises
Also included in my self-love planner are the following, aimed at giving you all the reinforcements that you need to create a stronger version of yourself.
Create Your Happy List Exercise
Get to know yourself better by creating a list of activities that will make you happy. This will allow you to create actionable steps to doing the things that make you happy.
Analyze Your Thoughts Exercise
Work through your thoughts by mapping out situations, identifying any negative self-talk and creating a new thought about your situation. Work toward changing your internal dialogue.
Name Your Mood Tracker Exercise
Get a snapshot of your mood. Tie your mood to your day to day experiences to allow you to see how you are feeling during those experiences.
Actionable Self-Care Planner Exercise
Planning your self-care means that you think that you are worth it. And you are! Put a plan in place that will allow you to fall more in love with yourself each week. Create concrete self-care activities that will enhance your view on yourself.
Self-Love Tree Exercise
Start to grow your self-love tree with this exercise that will allow you to build a tree of things that you absolutely love about yourself. Before you know if you will have a tree full of growth. Something you can look to on those difficult days as a reminder of how great you are.
Identify Limiting Beliefs Exercise
Identify your limiting beliefs by doing a complete self makeover. Three full pages that will allow you to ask yourself some really important questions about what you believe about yourself. Enhance your self-concept with this exercise and improve your ability to compete in the world around you.
6. Final Thoughts
Loving yourself goes beyond bubble baths or a spa day or affirmations on self love. It is an intentional effort that is marked by the habits that you decide to create. It requires a plan! Something that you create that will incorporate the following:
- Practicing Gratitude
- Positive Affirmations
- Eliminating Limiting Beliefs
- Finding Your Joy
- Celebrating your wins
- And much more
I encourage you to start with at least one of the seven habits and work your way through them adding more to your self-love arsenal each day. Focus on your progress each day over trying to be perfect. My Self-Love planner will create the blueprint you need to challenge yourself and create the you that you have always wanted. You will say to yourself: "self, this is love."
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde
Additional Recommended Resources:
Self-Love Planner- A blueprint to helping you fall in love with yourself.
The Ultimate Life Planner- Move from hardships to Successes.
Abundance Mindset Journal-End your mindset of scarcity.
Gratitude Works-Step by step planning to achieving greatness with gratitude
Overcome Imposter Syndrome-Get rid of negative self-talk fast
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